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              <title>I'm the Weird Kid... (´౿`) </title>   
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      <h1>I'm the Weird Kid... (´౿`) <img src="https://file.garden/ZRccwbUQNGkxIJbr/site/blog/q05-icon-pencil.gif" alt=""></h1>
<h2><img src="https://file.garden/ZRccwbUQNGkxIJbr/site/blog/cbf04-icon-calendar.gif" alt=""> 3/23/24 </h2> <hr class="blu">

<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">selamat pagiii… it’s pretty early as i start writing this actually!! But, just now, my friend Danz said something like how it was so unfair to be branded as a weird kid when you were just neurodivergent.. and I agree so hard. ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">People are kind of less cruel these days, but I think it’s the worst when you’re a child and don’t understand why everyone is so mean and terrible to you. and yeah, I really enjoy the solidarity I had with other neurodivergent kids..<i> SOOO MUCH, </i>actually!! They were my finest art buddies! But everyone was so mean. Even my teachers. (c" ತ,_ತ)</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">I don’t want to vent about it too severely, but one of my teachers mocked and bullied me SO HARD, it was insane!! Her worst offense was implying to the whole class that she wouldn’t protect me and another ADHD student if there was an active shooter… LIKE WHAT!! THE HECK!!!! I haven’t even hit double digits yet! Why would you say something so cruel!! ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ &nbsp; Once she even bashed a student anonymously in front of the class for 30 minutes, egging us on and telling us to call them stupid and make fun of them etc. All because they missed a page in a quiz packet.. most people would just hand the quiz back to the student and tell them to do it, because it's an honest mistake.. &gt;_&gt; But not her, I guess!</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">After that weird berating session, I left to go home and she pulled me aside and revealed that that was actually about me.. (T_T) That's just SO NEEDLESSLY CRUEL FOR NO REASON! Some people should never work with children…&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">I think it must have made me a little afraid to directly approach new friends.. </span><span style="color:hsl( 184, 9%, 62% );"><i>(these days I’ll be nice to anyone but you ALWAYS have to approach me first, so I’m certain I’m not pestering or inconvenience you)</i></span><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">. But I’m really glad I’m still as happy and friendly as I was back then. ⁽⁽٩(๑˃̶͈̀ ᗨ ˂̶͈́)۶⁾⁾ I was really carefree and perpetually positive — I felt the same way since I started being medicated last year!!</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">But, I still worry a lot about being rejected or not fitting in. Or I can’t tell if people are making fun of me or not. ( ⌯᷄ ·̫ ⌯᷅ก ) So I ask for your patience…</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">I really want to stop worrying if people think I’m obnoxious or not — because I do really want to make friends with lots of people, but I don’t want to approach them first and inconvenience them. | ू･᷄ω･᷅)｡ but I’m fairly easygoing, I think I could be friends with anyone so long as they’re nice and aren’t against my existence. Sometimes it’s too much to ask that people speak to you first, so.. I guess I’ll try and figure out how to talk to people first.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">but i don’t want to. </span><span style="color:hsl( 184, 9%, 62% );"><i>*eyes glow red*</i></span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">i’m taking a nap now, so I’ll finish this draft later… snzzz</span></p>
<p><br><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">Ok so I picked this draft back up a few&nbsp;.. um.. weeks later. MY BAD.&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">Well I talked to my therapist a bit about it.. she's mostly just observing, I kind of fawn and get scared when people lightly reject me or say no<i> </i></span><span style="color:hsl( 184, 9%, 62% );"><i>(this is called RSD if you have ADHD!)</i></span><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">.. so that was interesttinnggg. AS A SURPRISE TO NO ONE, this was likely learned during my early days in school! so awesome!!!<i> </i></span><span style="color:hsl( 184, 9%, 62% );"><i>(sarcasm, of course)</i></span><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );"><i>.</i></span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">By the way, I have been reading Dungeon Meshi and I relate to Laios a lot.. so much so, it's uncanny!! We're both zoology nerds with no filter. I realized this weekend that I always forget to gesture during a conversation UNLESS it's about animals! I was telling my mom about sugar gliders and bats and started to mime a patagium under my arms. Weird and NOT neurotypical kid solidarity…</span></p>
<p><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">I think i have.. NOT MUCH ELSE TO SAY!!! I hate to encourage people to come talk to me if you wanna, because I want to force myself to get out there.. but i always feel guilty for it. (´-ω-`) I'll learn it someday. For the time being, if you're dying to get to know me… please reach out!! I'm always eager to meet new people but it's also scary to think about. I don't mean to irritate you!! Just want to hang out is all..&nbsp;</span><br><span style="color:hsl( 207, 52%, 28% );">&nbsp;</span></p>
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        <strong><img src="https://file.garden/ZRccwbUQNGkxIJbr/pixels/musicnote.png" alt=""> Currently listening to:</strong>  HAPPY END - Kaseki Cider
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      <img src="https://file.garden/ZRccwbUQNGkxIJbr/pixels/e07-icon-bird.gif" alt="">  <strong>Current mood:</strong>  I'm really bittersweet.. i wanna cry, i'm so lovey dovey!
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